Sweet dreams are made of these...

Sometimes my unconscious plays cruel jokes on me...   I'm talking about sex dreams here.  They're never awesome...unless you're doing it with Ryan Gosling.  But I find that typically I end up doing it with awkward people who I will have to face tomorrow, old flames, or other girls.  Yikes!

In my dreams last night, I slept with an ex-friend-with-benefits.  He gave me a lap dance (?).  I remember afterwards being desperate for his affection.  I tried to hold his hand and he would pry it away.  I also remember an overwhelming sense of confusion about whether I should do it or not.

So I was putzing around and found this interesting article on Psychology Today (which is one of my favorite sites to waste time on).  Why Do We Dream?  The article gives 5 theories.  I shall attempt to interpret my sex dream through these 5 theories.

Theory #1:  We dream to practice responses to life threatening situations

Just in case this guy ever approaches me for a booty call in the future, my dream has helped me to understand that giving in will only lead to anxiety and depression.  Plus the lap dance wasn't even that great.

Theory #2:  Dreams Create Wisdom


My brain is reminding me of what I went through with this guy and trying to teach me something deep about what I want and the art of good lap dances.

Theory #3:  Dreaming is Like Defragmenting Your Hard Drive


My subconscious is telling me to forget about the boy.

Theory #4: Dreams Are Like Psychotherapy


I'm subconsciously trying to sort through my feelings of regret, anxiety, guilt, and desperate need for affection from this guy.

Theory #5: The Absence of Theory


My neurons are going nuts and somehow that resulted in a lap dance from my ex-"situation."  

Hmmmm...  Really, any of those make sense.  Take your pick!