Saturday, August 13, 2011

Sex Dream #2

That's right folks.  Last night I had my second sex dream about the same man this week.  This time we were playing some kind of drunken party game which involved making out with the person next to you.  Of course, I was paired up with this guy.  We were making out much longer than any of the other pairs.  Actually, I remember hearing someone else playing the game saying something about it.  But neither of us cared.

Eventually, we somehow ended up in a bedroom.  He was telling me that he had three prospective girlfriends, but that my kissing had been so awesome that it confused him.  It didn't take long before we were hooking up.  I'll spare you from the details.  All of the sudden in the middle of it, he stops and starts laughing at me.  He says, "Do you even know how to do this?"  He starts railing me on my sexual prowess, telling me how awful I am at it and making it clear that from this point onwards I stand no chance with him.

Now in real life, this guy was very aware of the fact I am still a virgin.  In fact, he was really turned on by it.  And he gave me plenty of positive reinforcement.  That was part of why the hook up was so fun for me and why I seriously considered losing it to him.  But in this dream, he made me feel awful.  I remember screaming at him, "there's a person inside this body!"

It seems as if every dream I have about this guy has some element of shame and embarrassment.  I don't regret hooking up with this guy in real life at all.  But I think it uncovered a lot of anxiety about my abilities and the act itself.  That and my confusion over whether I should wait or just grab the closest and easiest guy and go for it.  Maybe my brain is just spitting it back at me, and the only way it knows how to do it is to use my most recent affair.  The dangerous part of this is that no matter how awful I feel in the dream, I still wake up and think about calling him for a booty call.  Yikes!

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